Six Impossible Things

clementineford:

Mr “Welcome to the real world”. Sexism happens. Always has, always will. Might as well suck it up and deal with it. Try to change society? What are you, mad? I don’t like it either, sunshine, but just be good and don’t make a fuss.

Mr “Oh my god calm down it was a joke”. Everyone knows if you tack “lol” onto the end of a sentence, no one can get mad at you because you were being hilarious, and if anyone gets offended they’re being an uptight prick. You truly are the George Carlin of our time.

Miss Validator. “I’m a girl, and I think this is HILARIOUS. Calm down feminists!” Watch as everyone in the thread uses her as yet another reason why you are stupid and oversensitive and they are hilarious and right. May also “apologise for her gender” in a cosmic blast of internalised misogyny.

Mr “I refuse to believe this happens”. He would never cat call or rape and isn’t sexist at all and thinks gender roles are outmoded. Therefore, he thinks, everyone else thinks just like me too. Can’t line up women’s experiences of sexism with his own worldview, so dismisses everything they say, demanding “proof”. Sees no irony in this.

Mr “actually you’ve got this the wrong way round”. Silly you! This is looks, feels, smells and tastes like misogyny but is actuallymisandry. Don’t worry, easy mistake to make, anyone could have done it. Just don’t say I’m wrong or I’ll link you to pages explaining why you have female privilege and call you an ignorant bitch. 

Mr EvoPsych! Has never studied this but has skimmed some articles and therefore can explain every facet of how human behaviour works. And why it’s just best and most natural for everyone to stick to their traditional gender roles. Because that’s how we did it in 10000bc. Women and men are just different, that’s why you’re not as smart as him.

Mr *totally unrelated point*. Seriously dude, how did you even get here. Seems to be having a totally different discussion than the one you’re having, then whines that you aren’t addressing his points.

Mr “I’m so not the problem here. Hello ladies.” Ugh, photoshopping is TERRIBLE, fashion is STUPID and I tell my girlfriend not to wear makeup because makeup is GROSS. I like small boobs - take that societal norms! You don’t have to have plastic surgery anymore, girls, because I like’em small. Stop dieting! I like a woman with meat on her bones. Read Proust! I like a lady who’s well-read. I don’t understand why you would want an item of clothing that cost more than £50 - you don’t need that to attract me, madam. What do you mean, you like wearing eyeliner and don’t dress yourself solely for my benefit? I told you I don’t like high heels! STOP DOING THINGS I DON’T LIKE!

He he. Reblogging for truth.

(Source: interstellardiamond)

petitefeministe:

By Barbara Ellen in today’s Observer:

How jarring to see Eamonn Holmes on This Morning nagging rape survivor Hannah Cant about how she should have taken a taxi home the night she was abducted by Jonathan Haynes. Cant may have foolishly presumed, as I did, that the real story lay in her bravery and presence of mind. During an ordeal she didn’t know she’d survive, she tore out her hair and spat on his car seat to leave her DNA at the scene.

There was yet more courage from this young woman of 20, by waiving her anonymity and being interviewed on a TV programme. Perhaps Cant wanted to be an inspiration to others, but some hope with taxi-obsessed Holmes around. He introduced her by saying: “She was on her way home from a night out with her friends and walking home – didn’t take a taxi.” He ended the interview by saying to Cant: “I hope you take taxis now, everywhere you go, coming home at night.”

Yeah, it was all about Cant not taking a taxi. Never mind that, in 2009, John Worboys, the “black-cab rapist”, was convicted of drugging and sexually assaulting 12 victims, and was believed to have attacked 100 women in total. While taxis can be a good idea for everybody late at night, this clearly wasn’t the point of Cant’s story.

Taxi or not, it is never the victim’s fault that a rapist strikes. Odd how, even now, rape victims are perceived as somehow enabling their own attacks, in a way that would seem ludicrous when applied to other crimes? “Why did you buy a nice car – when it could be stolen?” “Why were you wearing that expensive watch – you must have known you’d be mugged and knifed?”

I don’t believe Holmes was guilty of any textbook cynical “victim-blaming”. Rather, he came across as clueless and blundering, exhibiting what appears to be a “rape moral blind spot” that afflicts certain types, mainly men, but by no means exclusively. It’s a dual paralysis of logic and empathy that, in Holmes’s case, resulted in well-meaning paternalistic bluster, along the lines of: “Oh dear, I wish you young girls would use your common sense more.”

There are echoes with Johnny Depp, who recently described magazine cover shoots as “like being raped”. A while back, actress Kristen Stewart made a similar comment about the paparazzi. Both immediately apologised, but still there’s that discordant feeling – in this day and age, how did these thoughts manage to travel all the way from brain to mouth without encountering some kind of neural road sign, screaming: “STOP!”? And since when was rape a handy metaphor for Hollywood stars not caring to have their photographs taken?

This seems beyond mere tastelessness. On the one hand, there’s a disturbing vogue for trivialising rape, almost rebranding this violent and hideous crime as part of the celebrity experience. On the other, it’s inviting the victim, as Holmes did, to muse on their own collusion, see the error of their non-taxi-taking ways. (You’re making it too easy for the rapist, dear.) The Depp incident occurred in a high-profile magazine interview, the other on television. If this sort of thing is flourishing out in the open, in the heat of the media glare, one can only wonder what strange and distorted attitudes one might find festering in the shadows.

It’s clear that neither Holmes, Depp or Ms Stewart would have intended any harm, but that’s almost what’s so scary about it: this casual, dopey missing of the point. The proposed “two strikes and you’re out” penal reforms suggest that the British justice system is finally attempting to put its house in order about serious sexual assault. This is good news, though with incidents such as these, it seems that popular culture still has some way to go.

(via petitefeministe-deactivated2013)

petitefeministe:

Cath Elliott, Too Much To Say For Myself:

So far over 173,668 people have signed the change.org ‘Demand Facebook remove pages that promote sexual violence‘ petition, and another 3506 people have signed Orlagh Ni Léid’s petition ‘Petition Facebook to remove material that promotes rape culture‘.

And Facebook’s response?

Silence.

Well, apart from a ridiculous and hugely offensive statement that they issued on 17th August that is, a statement in which they said:

“It is very important to point out that what one person finds offensive another can find entertaining – just as telling a rude joke won’t get you thrown out of your local pub, it won’t get you thrown off Facebook.”

Yes, because promoting rape and condoning violent hate speech is completely the same thing as telling a ‘rude’ joke to your mates down the pub isn’t it?

 It’s strange though, because no matter how many times I read the titles of these pro-rape Facebook pages, I still can’t even summon up so much as a smile, let alone laugh so hard I end up snorting and slapping my thigh (yes, seeing me genuinely lol is a sight to behold I assure you), and I’ve normally got a pretty good sense of humour. Maybe it’s because I’m a ‘humourless femnazi’, or maybe, and this is closer to the truth, it’s because under no circumstances is rape and sexual violence ever ever something to be laughed at: it’s just not funny.

For those that haven’t been following this story, some of the pages being highlighted by these petitions include such gems as:

• You know shes playing hard to get when your chasing her down an alleyway
• Riding Your Girlfriend Softly Cause You Don’t Want to Wake Her Up
• Raping Your Mate’s Girlfriend to See if She Can Put Up A Fight
• Abducting, Raping and Violently Murdering Your Friend, as a Joke

Bidisha and Women’s Views on News have been covering this issue pretty extensively, so I’m not going to repeat what’s already been said so eloquently. All I will say is, please sign the petitions, and let Facebook know what you think of their heinous rape apologist stance.

(via petitefeministe-deactivated2013)